Are you like me? do you ever wonder who these people are or where they came from…?
I’m talking about Facebook Friend Requests! The other day I had 65 new friend requests waiting for me to accept. This is great and wonderful and I’m humbly thankful.
I love meeting new people and making friends and developing new relationships.
The thing I want to point out to people is that 90% of these requests came without a message… not a”hi” or “hello”… or “I saw you here…” or “I’m following your invitation from Twitter…” nothing…
I’m sure that most of these people are in sales or marketing and are in hopes of growing their businesses and income with me, but I have a question…
How in the world would they ever expect for me to join them or purchase anything from them without communicating with me?!
In the following video I share the correct way to stand and out and be noticed as genuine and unique when requesting a friendship from a stranger on Facebook.
Please subscribe to my video training series where I share much more marketing strategies using social media and the Internet, and leave me a comment if you like this information or found it helpful.
Wishing you many outstanding relationships built around social media!
Kary
Google Buzz
28 Comments and Pings on Facebook Friends… Never, Ever, Never Do This!
Hey Kary,
Agree with you 100%….
It makes sense to show your prospective new friend that they are not just another “prospect to mail to”
but that you have actually taken the time to check their profile and know a bit about them and would like to get to know them better.
Have fun
Bryan
Thanks a lot for your comment and thoughts! So few ever do any of these simple yet effective ways to connect and get to know people.
Another usefull insite into how to use social media Kary. It does make a differnece sending messages to people you want to befriend, and it doesn't seem right if people want to be your friend but don't respond to your messages back! Of course I already knew this as you personally mentored me.
Thanks Kary
Hi Kary,
Great insight on the common sense way of expanding our position in this global party we call social networking, Perry Belcher was the first to show me to treat the web as a continual party. Same etiquette applies. Thank you Kary for the continuing knowledgr you share for us all. Hawaiianwilly
Hi Kary,
Just looked at this video, about “Never, ever do this”
I just learned a lot, learned I was one of the dudes who
was doing everything WRONG.!
Even asked a “Guru” and HE was doing it all wrong.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I like your way and will do things correctly.
Got to go now and watch your other videos.
Leonard
Great hearing from you Leonard. Yes, strategies like this one have had people pounding down my door wanting to know more about what I do… Fun and effective and more authentic to who I am.
Hey Hawaiianwilly! It's funny how the common sense things get thrown out the window when people get blinded by greed and only focus on themselves. Only through giving shall people be in the right place to receive…
Hi Dr. Chris! You nailed it buddy! No way to get to know someone without starting the conversation… Talk soon my friend!
Hey there dude,
Great blog post, keep coming out with stuff like this and your blog is going to be exploding like Hiroshima. BTW, if you ever need any WordPress help let me know. I've been tinkering with a lot of cool stuff lately.
Matthew Neer
Thanks Matthew! You are the Man in the Know… I'll be knocking soon my friend!
Mmm, no need to knock brotha, the doors always open for you.
So true. Making the personal impersonal is a recipe for failure.
We're here to make friends and develop relationships not just collect numbers… have a great day!
I just saw on a webinar that someone pointed out that Facebook has a rule that you are not supposed to use your profile for financial gain. It is OK to do that in a group or on a fan page.
I saw on a webinar that Facebook has in their terms that you are not allowed to use your profile for commercial gain. You can use a group or a fan page for this.
You certainly have some good points here, Kary. Its interesting that people get into social media, thinking that they will use it to sell their goods or services, without ever considering their customer. It would be like walking into a car dealership and the salespersons comes up to you and says, “Here, I have a great car for you,” without ever saying “Hi”, giving you their name.
That initial Facebook message is the equivalent of a virtual handshake when you first meet someone.
i have a bunch of friends on facebook, but ive noticed that everyone has mutual friends (which i know that they r people that u know who u have stuff in common) but idk how to get mutual friends. help?
Kary,
Right on with your Facebook wisdom! This is exactly how social media marketers need to work Facebook! Great video!
Mike´s last blog ..Social Tribes – 3 Facebook Pages For Free Blog Syndication
Hey Kary,
Great info here… If people really
looked at some of the stuff they do
online with a level head, they would
laugh at themselves.
It’s all about being a human being and
saying hello… and building relationships!
Thanks for the awesome info:)
Eric Goldstein´s last blog ..Are People Running Away From You On The Social Networks? Part II
Nice Kary,
Liked that you put the instructions in video format. I also liked that you went ahead and made it more clear how to friend people on fb, the proper, non-spammish way.
This stuff had occurred to me, but I didn’t know how kosher it was.
I have received the friendlier invitations, and started to do the same myself when I realized that if I accept an invitation, then other people might do the same.
However, it does take time, like everything else. But it might be worth it if the person that you friend finds your comments and online acquaintance interesting.
Vania´s last blog ..Entrepreneurs empowering communities in developing nations
Hi Kary,
Whoaah! At last I find someone who does it the way I do it. I guess I was doing the right thing when I used to send a message saying “may I know why did you request to add me on FB?”
Message. With me, its always the quality of the people I am becoming friends with, NEVER the quantity.
Thank you Eric Goldstein for posting this on your FB and introducing me to this incredible Kary and many thanks to you Kary for sharing this, not to forget the wonderful useful posts and comments here.
Now to the next step. Requesting to add you on FB with a message included
and no I don’t have a business to advertise for. I just like to have positive like-minded friends 
Happy day!
Dee~
You could accept their friend requests but then limit your profile to what they can see. Just hide parts of your profile from them. Most likely they’re adding you to increase their friend count and may not look at your profile again anyway. But yeah, just put them on your “Limited Profile” friend list or something if you aren’t comfortable denying their friend request.
Hi Kary,
This was one of the very first lessons I learned from you when I joined the Empowered Tribe back in February, and it has served me very well. It takes so little time to add a personal message and that message goes such a long way, yet so many people do not do this! I now only accept friend requests from people who write a message. You taught me well!
Mary Lou
Mary Lou Kayser´s last blog ..Predictably Irrational: The Keys to Your Success May Be the Opposite of What You Think
Mary Lou… Some of my closest friends now are people that I messaged
and asked questions of… I’d never stop even if I get a little behind with
it!
Have a terrific day!
Kary
Great video about ways to find new people to send friend requests to. I think that the most important part is to make sure you add a message to your requests. I very rarely accept requests that don’t have a message because with Facebook’s privacy settings I have no way of knowing who a person is.
Wayne Woodworth´s last blog ..Why is Massage Therapy Effective?
I know what you mean, Wayne. I get way behind and leave the
ones without comments… sometimes for months. lol
Have a great one!
Kary
Hi Kary
you really hit the nail on the head with this post
Its all about building relationships
Steve
steve reh´s last blog ..CFT-SECRET CODE WORD
Hi Kary – how’s it going? I really appreciated this post. So many people just don’t get it when it comes to the importance of building relationships.
Jon Ochs´s last blog ..Stop Trying To Make Money In Social Media And Start Building Relationships
This entry was posted on at and is filed under Facebook, Internet, Social Media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.