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Speaking Louder Than Words: “Be A Force Of Nature!”

 by Kary Rogney

IMG_1780Have you ever heard the saying, “Be A Force Of Nature!”? Think of the image that statement brings to your mind… of earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, etc… Things unstoppable and powerful! We all have that power to create change in our lives if we truly want it for ourselves.

God has put on my heart a clear and defining purpose for my life and for my many roles I play. For years I have stumbled along with no clear vision or obvious direction. I truly, with deep thought and conviction have decided to take responsibility for the many components of my life.

‘Now’ is the time I can change… not the past, or even the future that’s not even here yet.

My goal here is to lay out my purpose in a simple and meaningful way so that I empower myself (and possibly others) to new levels of effectiveness as a husband, father, friend, entrepreneur, and follower of Christ. Only with God’s loving grace and power will I stay on course and continue to focus on these vital goals. I know that this is about ‘my great journey,’ not merely the destination, because I’m fully aware that I will never completely arrive or be perfect. I’m definitely a work in progress!

Part 1: My Purpose As A Father

My purpose as a father is to model and teach responsibility, to show love and acceptance and a non-judgmental attitude in the process of teaching and disciplining my boys; raising up my boys in action and word to know God’s Truth.

Why would I want to do all this?

  • To build a strong, long-lasting relationship with them.
  • To establish a trusting and loving relationship with them.
  • To keep communication open now and in the future with them.
  • To help them build a personal relationship with Christ and to help them recognize the Truth vs. The Lies in the world.
  • To equip them with the necessary life skills to live happy, productive lives. This includes teaching about how to be a wise husband, dad, friend, worker, or leader.

How will I accomplish this rewarding task?

By…

  • Spending quality time with my boys.
  • Raising my personal awareness of being 100% present with them when I’m around them… not distracted by all the other things that can easily cloud my mind. Truly wanting to listen to them and be an active listener.
  • Continuing to study, pray, and discuss the Bible with them.
  • Read great books on this topic. Listen and learn from great teachers and leaders in regards to being a great father.
  • Talk and learn from other dads.

Now it’s time to create my action plan. This will include what I’ll do and when.

  • One to two times per week I’ll take my boys someplace special; focusing on the 3 of us interacting and bonding.
    • Activity Ideas: hiking, playing at a park, to a restaurant, a drive, bike ride, going for a walk, playing a game in the yard.
  • Individually spend time with them: playing, homeschooling, reading, playing a game, chasing, wrestling, pretending, sharing old stories about me or mom or our families
  • Praying with them each night before bed, giving thanks for our favorite things of the day, blessing and praying for others.
  • Eating sit-down meals together as a whole family each morning and/or at dinner.
  • Model beneficial characteristics of a father and husband through words and actions.
  • Be approachable with problems or concerns daily.
  • Openly share how proud I am of them and how much I love them each day.
  • Plan fun family events at home or away: vacations, camping, hikes, BBQs, playdates, outings.
  • Read and talk about God’s word. Ask about what they’re learning in homeschool or at church each week. Share what I know and believe.

Part 2: My Purpose As A Husband

My purpose as a husband is to love and cherish my wife Kelly, support her in the planning of homeschooling or home programs for our boys, partner with her on managing the various responsibilities  around the home, have open and honest communication… being transparent with her in my life, be her spiritual leader in our home, encourage her to pursue the things that bring joy and happiness to her.

Why would I want to do all this?

  • To bond and build a deep and meaningful relationship with her.
  • To establish a trusting and loving relationship with her.
  • To keep communication open with her; mutual trust.
  • To partner in our relationships with Christ and to support each other with this journey.

How will I accomplish this rewarding task?

By…

  • Being aware of where my mind is when I’m around Kelly; being more ‘present’ with her.
  • Listening, reading, and learning about what it takes to be a good spouse.
  • Talking to other husbands that have great relationships with their wives.
  • Making the decision to and wanting to change.
  • Looking for the opportunities to encourage her and lift her up.
  • Smiling when I’m around her; not be so serious.

Now it’s time to create my action plan. This will include what I’ll do and when.

  • Set aside time in my day to talk and listen to Kelly.
  • Stick with our agreed schedule of activities for each day.
  • Communicate my concerns, celebrations, thoughts, needs, and wants with her.
  • Schedule dates and quality time together.
  • Show affection with her when I leave the house and when saying goodnight.
  • Help with dishes, garbage, with the boys, etc… without being asked; anticipate her need for help.
  • Show appreciation and surprise her occasionally because I want to and because I love her.

Now friends, the reason I’m sharing this all with you is not to show you my plans but to show you how to go after your goals and dreams with a plan… AND TO TAKE ACTION!!

Just plug in your goals and use this format to make the changes you want to in your life. I know you can do it… I know it won’t always be easy, but you can revisit your words, evaluate your progress, have an accountability partner in the process, and live the life you were meant to live.

Happy ~ Healthy ~ Prosperous

Please leave me your thoughts, inspirations, and ideas in the comments section below.

And of course if you found this useful and think others would like this knowledge, please ReTweet and Digg my blog post, too.

Yours in personal growth,

Kary

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Posted in Kary Rogney, Personal Growth, Spiritual Growth, Your Mindset | Tags , , , , | 10 Comments

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10 Comments and Pings on Speaking Louder Than Words: “Be A Force Of Nature!”

  • Posted by brucebackman on September 08, 2009 at 9:32 pm

    It is a hard thing to determine to make others feel loved and to engage them above yourself…but I have found that most of the joy in life is in doing these things. Thanks also…for the clear outline for action…great stuff!

  • Posted by Eric Goldstein on September 09, 2009 at 12:49 pm

    Great post Kary!

    Living 'on-purpose' is so important!
    I want to acknowledge you for being
    open and authentic in the sharing of
    your purposes… keep shining!

  • Posted by michaelfeil on September 09, 2009 at 8:49 pm

    Kary,

    Great post! So many men today are so preoccupied with climbing that corporate ladder and creating their status in the corporate world that they forget what is truly important to them…their wife and kids.

    The best part of my day is coming home and seeing my family. As you know, I have 2 girls (6 and 4) and if they want me to play barbies with them I'm on the floor playing Barbies. If they want me to be a king or a prince that's what I'm gonna be. I read to them, pray with them, play the game that they want to play, and sometimes just sit there with my arm around each one of my daughters and watch Dora, or Hanna Montana, or iCarly. It's those moments where I feel that even though I don't have all the money in the world I'm much more rich than some of these corporate executives!

    Then there's my wife Christina who is currently carrying our 3rd daughter. She has the toughest job of them all! She's a stay at home mom and she does a great job at taking care of the house but more importantly taking care of our daughters. She makes sure that our daughters are engaged with something fun and educational everyday. That may be going to a museum, going to the park and play, going to a friends house for a play date, or just sitting on the floor with them and playing what ever. She is also a great wife and a great Godly woman. I enjoy the 1 on 1 time that she and I spend together. We never seem to get bored of each other and always have something to talk about.

    But the most important thing that we can do as husbands and fathers is work at these relationships. Many people go into marriage and think that it's a piece of cake, but it's not. Look at the 50% divorce rate in America. We need to communicate our Love Languages to our spouses so that we meet each other's needs. If you anyone reading this is having trouble with their marriage please go by The 5 Love Languages and start reading that. It will teach you how to become a better spouse.

    You're right Kary, nothing's better than your family!

  • Posted by aaronmarsell on September 13, 2009 at 11:17 pm

    Kary

    Wow !!…………. I am amazed at this post Kary. It takes a great leader to really pour your heart out like you have in this post. And the fact that you give the glory to GOD makes me smile. I too am a father and as I read your post started to gather my mental list for the goals and action steps I can do to be more present with my children and my wife. I will follow your advice and commit them to action.

    It is so great to be connecting with like minded individuals and a follower of Christ.

    May God bless you and your action plans
    Aaron Marsell

  • Posted by mcinpat on September 21, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    Right on the money Kary,
    You don't know how I needed to read this post right now. Thanks for helping me get re focused and more on-point with what I need to be doing tonight. God bless,
    Pat

  • Posted by kenpickard on September 22, 2009 at 11:10 am

    Kary,

    Another very timely post my friend. This is not only an incredible outline of what it means to be a true man, but a wonderful testament to what you family means to you. By keeping your vertical alignment true, you will have all the support you need. I love the way to outline the reasons why and the method of how to stay connected with your family.

    I have created a similar plan to stay connected with my family. With a wonderful wife and 5 growing kids one on one time is precious. My wife and I have at least one nice date a month. We try to catch a few more dates here and there, but at least once nice one where we can relax and talk and get connected again. With our crazy schedules this is so important to us. I also schedule a “day with dad” date with each of my kids. A few times I will double up with either the boys or the girls if it’s something really special. But the most important things is giving them your entire attention during that time.

    Keep spreading the good words.
    Ken Pickard

  • Posted by karyrogney on September 23, 2009 at 12:27 am

    Thanks Ken! Really appreciate your insight to fatherhood as well. You're family is very blessed to have you leading them. Many blessings to yours…

  • Posted by Dave Scottow on December 31, 2009 at 12:38 pm

    Kary,
    That was incredible. I am blessed by you brother in all you have invested in my life and the example you are as a husband and father. Keep up the good and encouraging work.
    Dave

  • Posted by Glyna Humm on March 24, 2010 at 8:30 am

    Wow – what inspiration for living in the “now” and setting goals to make your future even better! You have made me want to get busy and make sure I am being the best partner that my husband could ask for. Thanks
    .-= Glyna Humm´s last blog ..Internet Marketing and Social Networking – A Match Made in Cyber Space Heaven =-.

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